Walking Through the Loss of a Child

There is nothing more gut-wrenching for a parent than losing a child. Nurtured in the womb, mothers have an intricate bond with their children before they are born. The birth of a child is a precious event, and mothers who have anticipated this day endure the pain of childbirth for the joy of holding their child. All the mother’s hopes and dreams for the child are evident in each milestone reached and in the accomplishments of growth. 

Mothers have a unique gift – they dream of seeing futuristically, their child reach the goals mothers have mentally set as they rock their babies.   Nothing compares with the loss of a child. Whatever the circumstances that contributed, or resulted in the passing of this child, the depth of this pain only God can know. He is intimately acquainted with us, and the Bible says that not even a sparrow falls (dies) without His awareness (Matthew 10:29).   

We are often reminded of God as a gentle Shepherd in Psalm 23. Reflected upon for its pure comfort and strength, we see the caring, attentive Shepherd who intimately knows each lamb. Let us review what these scriptures serve as distinct comfort for the hours, days, months, and years following the loss of a child, when they will be relied upon heavily. 

Verse 1: “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” God the Father is a gentle, all-knowing, ever-loving Shepherd of the flock (his children).   

Verse 2: “He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.” Green pastures could be considered the place of rest, the place of restoration. A place to find nourishment for the physical body, the mind, and the soul. There is no stress in His pasture.   

Verse 3: “He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.” For the parent who has experienced the loss of a child, there can be a restoration of the soul where the Father is permitted to comfort and bring peace.   

Verse 4: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” When facing a loss, it is possible to feel alone; no one can relate to the anguish of loss, especially of a child. Who do you turn to for comfort that really “gets” you? The Father. You are not alone. He is with you. The rod of the shepherd can protect, and the hook of the shepherd’s staff pulls the sheep back to a safe place if they wander off.   

Verse 5: “Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.” You can rest in His protection and care.  

Verse 6: “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” God, the Father grieves the loss of a child and His heart is to love, protect, and care for the mother and family who have lost a child.   

When a family loses a child, God wants to be the source of comfort. We can be assured that we will be reunited with our lost loved ones and that too, is comforting. There is no set time to grieve and no set way to grieve. There is a source of constant help, day or night, turn to the Father, he wants to help you walk this path. Seek a trusted friend, someone who will pray with you, sit with you, and help you stay connected to the Father.   

- Susan Ruiz, The Covenant Coach  

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